Living with anxiety sucks. It rears its ugly head when you least expect it, or it is always present and you want to hide away until it goes away. I deal with anxiety on a daily basis. When mixing in rituals and spell casting, anxiety makes it more of an effort to follow through. I try to not let my anxiety stop me from living life, but it does get difficult. I have had times where I would be doing a spell and my anxiety kicked in. I asked myself constantly, ‘what if this doesn’t work?’ or ‘what if they curse me back?’ and have even asked myself ‘am I really capable of this?’. I doubt myself when I try to astral project- my anxiety kicks in with the ‘what if’ scenarios.
When I check the moon phase, and other factors, for spell work my anxiety does interfere. It makes me second guess everything, creating scenarios that are ‘what if’ and may not happen. I also let my anxiety fill my head with thoughts of ‘what if they know I did this to them?’ when I cast any type of spell on a person. I am getting better, with the help of meditation, at dismissing these types of thoughts and doing the spellwork regardless of if the person knows or not I did any spell work to help them or to rid them from my life.
When my anxiety gets to bad I meditate. It has taken me years to develop a system to recognize when my anxiety starts to take over my life and I need to step back and ground myself. This is where meditation comes into play and finding what helps with good meditation takes time. Some people prefer complete silence and darkness, others prefer music, others prefer candles and silence. Personally I prefer music, anywhere works for me to meditate. I can put in my headphones and use the music to help shut the world out and ground myself. I listen to Celtic flute and drumming music as well as music from Native American tribes. To me, this type of music settles my mind and erratic beating heart. If I am able to, I listen to my music and walk through the woods, enjoying the peacefulness of my surroundings.
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